Actually, I didn’t want to be born,
my soul decided that for me.
Actually, I don’t want to live, but
my soul doesn’t take that into account.
Actually, I would prefer to die,
why doesn’t my soul listen to me?
Actually, it’s time for me
to take my life into my own hands,
but I’m too much of a coward to end it.
My God, what an urge to survive I have,
what courage to live I must have
to keep on going time after time.
Oudewijn
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